For some reason, in the enterprise software world, the most popular way to end your email is with the phrase “please advice.” It can also take the form of “plz advise” (the advise is never shortened).

For example:

From: Helpless Developer
To: Overworked Developer
Subject: help!

I just updated my code and rebuilt, and it’s telling me “does not compile.” What do I do?

Please Advice.

Or:

From: Wishful Customer
To: Support
Subject: !!! EMERGENCY

I modified several XML and .properties files. Now YOUR PRODUCT DOES NOT WORK!! I need to get this fixed by COB today!!

Plz advice.

As you can guess, most people on the To: end of this phrase detest “please advice.” It’s what we call a bozo-bit flipper. As such, my advice (ha!) to you is to never use it if you expect a friendly response.

You’ve been advised.

Tags: aphorisms, enterprise, idiots, software.